Act I

The curtain opens to twenty (or maybe less) love-sick women all hoping to win the heart of their idol, the poet Reginald Bunthorne. They are the "in" crowd, meeting at their favourite haunt to share their misery. They have abandoned the "Dragoons" to whom they were engaged.

Bunthorne loves Patience, who is simple and down-to-earth and does not understand the women's yearnings for Bunthorne. She has never loved anyone, apart from an elderly aunt, and that does not count!

Gilbert's 35th Dragoon Guards have been replaced by an ambitious and macho sales force of the "Dragoons Company" intent on marketing their new product in an aggressive manner. They are insulted when their fiancees reject them. Their Sales Director, "the Colonel," takes on a new recruit, a wealthy young man known as "the Duke."

Patience's childhood playmate, Archibald Grosvenor, an idyllic poet, arrives on the scene. She realises that she loves him, but feels unable to respond to his advances because Angela has explained to her that true love must be entirely unselfish.

Meanwhile, Bunthorne, having been rejected by Patience, has employed a solicitor to arrange a raffle (lottery) to decide who will be his bride. The plot thickens when Patience interrupts the proceedings by announcing that she will marry Bunthorne because this is a truly unselfish act. After the women's initial anger at this disturbance, Grosvenor appears and, to his horror, they transfer their attentions to him, with the exception of Jane, a portly 'older' lady. Once more the "Dragoons" are thwarted.

Act II

Jane declares her faith in Bunthorne and tries to cheer herself up with a solo riff or two! The girls are continually in Grosvenor's presence – apart from the weekly half day holiday, on which he insists! Bunthorne cannot live without admiration and Lady Jane persuades him to challenge Grosvenor and meet him on his own ground.

Meanwhile, the "Dragoons" attempt to become "coo" in order to win back their girls, who are impressed by their attempt. Then comes a musical hint that someone is to be left without a partner.

Bunthorne threatens Grosvenor with a curse unless he reverts to being a "commonplace young man." Grosvenor succumbs, which makes him once more eligible for Patience. The Dragoons finally prove their love, the women decide to re-join the real world, and we leave you to guess who is left out in the cold.